You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
