you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
