i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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