you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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