If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
