I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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