The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
