Dual....:-)
I just saw a hot homeless man
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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