During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
