I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
