I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
