the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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