if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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