this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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