Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
