eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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