Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
