i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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