What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
