Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
