There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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