I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
