the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
