Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
