last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
