Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
