based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
