is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i think my cat just said my name.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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