Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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