I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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