I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
id be glad to
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
