your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
