You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
