My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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