hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She's not a foreskin expert like you
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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