The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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