I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
