why didn't you poke me back
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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