hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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