dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
