im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
