Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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