just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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