I heard we made out
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
