I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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