He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
