The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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