I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
