i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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