Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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