what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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